Do I Even Have a North Star?

I remember the first time I felt the weight of professional confusion. It was during the year before graduation.

​

You know, that time you’re supposed to decide your future—when you’re expected to take your first steps towards forever.

​

For me, it was more like: three years of college and all I got was this lousy elephant on my chest. Yes, it was metaphorical, and yes, I’m being melodramatic, but I’m pretty sure the goal was clarity, not the feeling of an animal the size of a house mistaking me for a chair.

​

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

​

One option is to use what other people tell you about yourself. Maybe they see something you don’t. I heard “You should be a lawyer” a lot. I finished with a minor in legal studies, so sure. Let’s go to law school.

​

This is not a great reason to go. 0/10—do not recommend.

​

I’ll cut through the super fun experience of the Socratic method and being graded on a C+ curve in almost every class. You can imagine the good times for yourself. I wouldn’t want to spoil the fantasy with reality.

​

What I will say is that I tried to make the best of things, working hard to figure out what I was going to be when I grew up. But in the end, it didn’t matter.